Orchard Woman Publishes Book To Talk About Miscarriages

No one wants to talk about miscarriages. 

According to the American Pregnancy Center, 10 to 25 percent of natural pregnancies end in miscarriages. Every day, mothers lose unborn babies to natural causes. 

For families torn by the loss, the silence surrounding the topic can be stifling. An Orchard woman, however, is taking strides to break that silence and bring healing through conversation through her newly published book, "A Surrogate For Heaven: Breaking The Silence About Miscarriage."
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Nicole “Nikki” Hahn, who lives in Orchard with her husband Colton, had two miscarriages in 2016. Hahn found that people around her didn’t want to talk about her loss, because many felt uncomfortable or didn’t know how to respond, so she turned to the Internet and books for comfort. 

“When I went through it the first time, I literally only knew one person out of friends, family or anyone who’d dealt with it,” said Hahn. “So I didn’t know who to talk to. Most people and your friends don’t want to talk about it because it makes them feel uncomfortable. So then the next thing you do is try to search for some books or go online or something like that, and I just really couldn’t find much and that’s kind of depressing.”

It wasn’t until others found out Hahn had lost the baby that she realized how many other women had also gone through a miscarriage. 

“We had already announced that we were pregnant, so people had to know that we lost it,” explained Hahn. “So once that became public, people would private message me or text me and just came out of the woodwork telling me they had been through it too, but just never talked about. You’d be surprised how many people you know who have had to suffer through that. I just feel like there’s nothing out there for us and even if I’m just doing one tiny book or writing one little blog it’s just one step closer to helping other women feel more comfortable.”

For Hahn, blogging about her experience helped her cope with the loss. She started a private blog in April and kept updating it with entries. It was from here that she gathered a lot of her material for the book.

“After our first (miscarriage), I kept kind of like a blog, but it wasn’t a public blog,” said Hahn. “It was just for me, so I would write entries and stuff starting back in April.”

Then almost immediately after losing her first pregnancy, Hahn was overjoyed to be pregnant once again, only to lose the second baby in August.

The more Hahn mourned in silence, the more frustrated she became with the stigma surrounding miscarriages. 

“It’s so taboo, you’re not suppose to talk about it but I don’t understand why it’s so secretive,” Hahn said. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s nothing you did wrong. Just like someone who’s lost a family member or who are suffering through any loss, we should be able to suffer just the same.”

It was this frustration that inspired Hahn to write her book. At less than 200 pages, Hahn described her book as a short, easy read, which tells her story, shares some of her experiences and guides women through what can be one of the darkest times. 

She also hopes that those who have not had miscarriages will read it as well.

“It’s not just for women who have lost. I think maybe it’s more beneficial for the people who haven’t experienced so that they know what it is,” Hahn explained. 

Following her miscarriages, people would reach out to Hahn in an attempt to bring comfort, only to unknowingly deepen the pain.

“There’s a big chapter in my book about how what you can say can be hurtful and what you should think about saying instead and what actually helps people who are going through it,” said Hahn. “No one ever tries to hurt your feelings but sometimes when people say certain things it’s kind of hard.” 

Hahn doesn’t expect her book to become famous.  Her hopes for the book are simple. She wants to help people understand the loss of a miscarriage and start breaking the silence around the topic.

Hahn’s book is available as paperback on amazon.com and on Barnes and Nobles’ online store.